I’m Not Special

I think one of the worst things a person can say is, “God only gives you what you can handle.”

Fuck That.

Excuse my language but it is the truth. I am not special, I wasn’t “chosen” to have a child with special needs. I just have a child with special needs, there is a big difference.

I do everything in my power to make sure she is ok and that she has everything she needs, but in no way was I a child of God who was chosen to handle this. I don’t believe God looked down on Earth and pointed to me and said, “Yes, her.” There was no light illuminating my face, there was no cello playing angelic music, and there most certainly was not a bird chirping in sight. It just happened.

People that say this I feel as though don’t know what to say. Then don’t say anything at all.

Yes, while every once in awhile I want to be assured that I am doing a good job and that I am trying the best that I can… I don’t want to hear things like “I couldn’t do it” or “I give you credit.” Listen, I love my kid more than anything. She is not a job or inconvenience. She is not a burden. She is not being raised by “special” parents.

You see, it is not me or my husband that are “Special” or “Chosen.” You have got it all wrong.

My daughter is the special one. She is the one who makes me laugh on the darkest of days, she teaches me new things everyday through her incredible eyes, she tries so incredibly hard at everything even if it should come easy, and she does this and so much more with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

Yes, we have rough days and times that are trying but doesn’t everyone? Doesn’t everyone proclaim every once in awhile how hard life can be? Don’t most parents get frustrated with their child who is throwing a tantrum in a store? Have you ever just asked yourself how you can get through a particular situation? Have you ever thought of just giving up?

We all have our own shit. We all have our own set of problems.

It’s funny that some people’s problems would never be followed by the statement, “God only gives you what you can handle.” No, I would never walk up to a child having a tantrum and say that. It’s insulting. It’s like saying something is defective with my kid. She is not defective, she is just different.

Different in the most beautiful kind of way.

I am not special. My daughter is special. And not in a special needs sort of way. Just special because she has shown me a world that I have never known existed. A world that has opened my eyes and made me think differently.

No, I am not special. She has made me special.

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